u-ok:
you know what
no
check the directory I think we’re on the wrong level
man if your keys fell in that water, you’d have to let em go
cause man
they’re gone
I had a nightmare like this.
Except there was no water. The sharks just didn’t didn’t give a shit. Nobody noticed them until they were getting their legs torn off.
(Source: brink182, via badlydressedwriter)
(Source: lochnessie2626, via boltong)
maybe we’re all already superheroes but our powers are really shitty like the power to tie your shoes really fast or to never burn an omelette
(via candysharkking)
I’m sorry if I misgender you.
To me, everyone is a dude or a bro.
yeah psa
if I call you ‘dude’, ‘man’, bro’ etc, it is not because I am assuming that you are a man!! It’s because I always call people that and I frequently worry that I am going to make someone feel like I’m misgendering them but I am not!!
I just like saying “Maaaaaaaaan!!” and “DUDE” and “bro.”
it’s just a thing I do
^^^^^^THIS
If anyone gets upset at me calling them dude for whatever stupid reason then goddamn they just lost all dude privileges.
I’ll just go right back to calling you by your full goddamn name if you’re gonna be messin’ like that.
(via derpitstea)
I should probably delete some of my alarms.
Can you tell I’m in college by my clever (and surprisingly insulting) alarm titles?
Oh man and I thought I was the only one that gave my alarms names like this. And I have to do math problems to turn them off, too.
“wanna see my rock collection?” i open my closet and several clones of dwayne johnson come running out. i hand my friend the extra tranquilizer gun under my bed, “the hunt is on”.
(via derpitstea)
Prototype 2? More like Prototype, Sass and One-Liners edition.
Keller isn’t a virus and thus has a personality and that’s why this game will always be better than its predecessor.
I just grabbed a Black watch dude and threw him off a building, and Keller said “Mind the first step, it’s a doozy” as he careened way further than I thought he would and then exploded into actual fire. I’m still fucking grinning.
Everybody out
(Source: petapeta, via alexiorsay)
